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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?